We named our party play list daddy issues
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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