do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
