Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
