you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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