I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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