im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
