Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
