I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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