I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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