the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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