I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
