Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
