just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
