Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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