Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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