I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
