I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
