im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
