even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
