You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
