Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
