You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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