singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
