I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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