Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
