What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
