Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Randomize
