Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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