is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
