Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Venezuelanmetal hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(561): View more from Florida

Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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(503): View more from Oregon

we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.

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(619): View more from California

I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(619): View more from California

there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.

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(430): View more from Texas

Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex

(214): View more from Texas

Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me

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