just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
