What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
