I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
