i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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