I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
