We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When are your genitals available?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
