1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
