Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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