The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
