you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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