i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
