VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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