Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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