And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
there is puke in my bra ... again
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
