Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
