Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
