Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
