my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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