I wish you could order shots online.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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