Me. At least after what I've been through.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is this like a preordered booty call?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
