Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize