Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
