Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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