So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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