he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
