Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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