he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
