I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
