i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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