They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
