Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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