How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
